by Nancy Cole
Hope.- It’s a word we use often, and usually without too much thought. It might be “I hope we can get a good parking spot,” or “I hope that package arrives in time,” or even, “Hopefully, the babysitter is available Friday night.”
When I think back to my childhood, my hopes were pretty simple, and my devastation was pretty big when those hopes were dashed.
One of my best memories is Christmas Day shortly after I turned eleven years old. For an entire year, I had been saving my paper route money. I wanted a record player, but not just any record player. This record player had special square pearl knobs, and the color was off- white and shiny. Every time we shopped at K mart, I would show my mom the record player I was saving up for. I knew exactly which shelf it would go on in my bedroom, and I already had a few 45’s and albums, so as soon as I had that record player, life would be good. Knowing how expensive it was, and that I had to save a lot more money, I hoped it would be under the tree Christmas morning. But, my hopes were not too high.
Yet, on Christmas morning, there it was! A simple hope had been fulfilled.
One of my worst childhood memories is from my eighth- grade year. I sat one row over and three seats behind a boy named Jeremy. Although I’d never had a conversation with him, he seemed nice and he was super cute. When the Sadie Hawkins dance (girls asked boys) was a week away, I had high hopes about asking Jeremy. I worked up my nerve one day after class, and tapped him on the shoulder as he walked by.
Trying to keep my voice from sounding too nervous, I managed to get the words out “Would you like to go to the Sadie Hawkins dance with me?”
“Sure” He answered immediately, without even giving it a second thought.
That weekend as I looked through my closet, wanting to choose the perfect dress, and considering how I might fix my hair, I had my hopes up that this dance with Jeremy would be amazing. On Monday, as class ended, and Jeremy walked by my desk, I looked up and smiled. He stopped and said he needed to tell me something. I wondered if he was going to ask if we should ride together or meet at the dance.
Then he said it, those devastating words “I can’t go with you to the dance.”
I was stunned, and managed to squeak out “O.k.”
I somehow managed to hold back the tears until I arrived home. I was so sad, and I felt hopeless. However, two days later I asked Bobby, another classmate, to the dance. We ended up having a really fun time.
Now, as an adult, of course I know that feeling devastated and hopeless over those things I did as a child- well, those were things that in the big picture never really mattered. I now have life experience and perspective, so the daily “I hope so” and the “Well, that didn’t work out” hardly faze me.
But, what about those big things that happen and do leave us feeling hopeless. What about the devastating news following surgery, the blindsiding diagnoses that your child is disabled? What about the sudden and very unexpected death of your spouse? What then?
What do you do when life feels hopeless, for a very good reason, and it is not a fixable situation? Then what?
In “Holding His Hand; Hope When Life Feels Hopeless,” we share how we found hope, true and lasting hope, during our most devastating moments of life.
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